I found that mediation works, and can even work wonders. I met with estranged partners and parents, who sometimes found it difficult even to be in the same room. Any direct conversation would easily break down, when emotion surfaced and somebody said the wrong thing. That is where the mediator’s role comes in. Talking with a mediator and talking through a mediator allows conversation to proceed, as the mediator filters out all negative expressions, and what began as negative is now turned into positive intention.
At the end of the process of meetings and seeing the agreements now made by the parties, it is a great surprise to look back and to remember how unpromising the whole enterprise seemed on that first day. Through the careful use of language, the guiding hand of the mediator, and the desire of the parties to achieve something important for themselves, their whole world has been changed for the better.
The same is true of counselling. The meetings are important for bringing issues to the surface and for unravelling our complex emotions, but the time in between meetings is also of great value, as our spirit processes the conversations that we have taken part in. Through meetings and through the intervals between meetings we change and we grow and we develop. What looked so bleak at the outset becomes now a new day and a new dawn in our lives.
When we can speak clearly and express ourselves calmly and fully, we are people renewed.
Brian Fahy
17 February 2023
Erris Poetry 